


Talos Works in Mysterious Ways

by darkrose



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Gen, Minor Character Death, Skyrim Kink Meme, arrow in the back, shouty guy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-10
Updated: 2012-04-10
Packaged: 2017-11-03 09:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/379872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkrose/pseuds/darkrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Dovahkiin has had enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talos Works in Mysterious Ways

The guard heading down the stone steps from Dragonreach stared, blinked, and shook his head. Theryn floated in the water, trying to look like it was perfectly normal for the Thane/Harbinger/Dragonborn (/Arch-Mage/Thieves' Guildmaster/Nightingale but who's counting?) to be crouching in one of the decorative pools. As soon as he passed, she peeked over the wall. It was going to be a tricky shot, especially since she couldn't be seen. Pulling the Thane card might work, but she preferred to save that for more important things, like cleaning out Belethor's store some night. 

**"...We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars!"**

It had only gotten worse since the failed Stormcloak attack. Heimskr's house was destroyed, which meant he spent _all night_ outside, ranting. The presence of Imperial troops in the city hadn't dimmed--or quieted--his fervor one bit. Theryn would have liked to spend more time at Jorrvaskr, but she couldn't take the shouting. (She was aware of the irony.)

**"...And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit!"**

Theryn inched up to the landing, keeping herself hidden in the shadows with aid from Nocturnal's blessing. Without a sound, she fitted a black-fletched arrow to her Nightingale bow and drew the string taut.

**"...And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man!"**

She took careful aim. She was only going to get one shot.

**"...Trust in me, Whiterun! Trust in the words of Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Talos! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his hAUGH!"**

There was a sizzle and the faint smell of ozone as she loosed the arrow, followed by a solid thump. Theryn quickly dove into the water, staying still and silent. After a few moments, she heard the guards below:

"Huh."

"Yeah."

"You see anyone?"

"Nope."

"Me neither."

"Guess Talos finally got sick of him too."

"Um...there's an arrow. In his back."

"The gods work in mysterious ways, my friend."

Theryn stayed hidden until she was certain the guards had wandered off, then climbed back up the stairs and over the wall to Jorrvaskr, flush with the satisfaction of a job well done, and looking forward to a good night's sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> You know you wanted to kill him, or at least make him shut up. I did a fairly straightforward sneak-and-snipe, but Googling "skyrim how to kill heimskr" returns 5,430 results, so there are many, many ways to do it.


End file.
